Tottenham winger David Bentley to be offered fresh start at Aston Villa (Daily Telegraph)
So the Telegraph write another story about someone who costs an awful lot of money, doesn't seem to do anything and inspires the ire of the public. Only this time there's not a fraudulent expenses claim in sight. Unless of course you count the fare for the cab Harry Redknapp's been calling for David Bentley ever since the former Pompey boss realised the new David Beckham well, wasn't.
In the kind of he said she said that wouldn't got amiss in playgrounds across the country, the 'graph reckons the Star says Martin O'Neill is only willing to offer Harry £10m to take DB mkII off his hands.
SpursMAD reckons; 1) Harry's not going to let Bentley go for much less than £13m and would probably like to use him to tempt Inter Milan to hand over Sulley Muntari, and 2) Newspapers should stop the shameless practice of publishing other paper's stories and then thinking it's okay as long as they mention the original source somewhere in the article. We just don't think it's fair. I mean the journalist at the Star probably spent the best part of 30 seconds making that up only for some bloke called Telegraph Staff to steal it for the sake of a few hits. You wouldn't catch SpursMAD doing that, no sire...
Tottenham on the verge of luring Ruud Van Nistelrooy from Madrid (The Times)
According to the Times, Harry Redknapp is “on the verge” of “luring” former Manchester United goal machine Ruud Van Nistelrooy to White Hart Lane. According to a SpursMAD source this most probably complete and utter rhubarb but if not, he speculates our wily gaffer has left a trail of Reese's Pieces from the Bernabeu leading to a cardboard box held up by a twig, which has been cunningly attached to a long piece of string. If that doesn't catch him then our offer of considerably less than the £80,000 the 32-year-old injury prone forward earns to lie on the treatment table in Madrid certainly will.
According to the Times this story makes sense because Harry has been keen to sign a “physical striker” since Sunderland turned down an approach for Kenwyne Jones in January. I can only think our attempts to persuade Duncan Ferguson to come out of retirement have yet to bare fruit.
Sevilla confirm interest in Tottenham midfielder Didier Zokora (Guardian)
Sevilla have never been very nice to our club. First they knocked us out of the Uefa Cup quarter final, then they blighted us with Juande Ramos and charged us for the privilege. So it comes as a surprise to find the Spanish side extend an olive branch by offering to take Didier Zokora off our hands. Zokora has struggled for regular football since the arrival of Wilson Palacious from Wigan in January but let's face it, it's been a long time in coming. “Didz” can console himself that his new suitors really want him. And by “really” I mean with the kind of desire only a stalker can muster. “I have followed him since we first saw him” said Sevilla's sporting director, Ramón Rodríguez, who clearly needs to get a life and have his eyes tested.
The article adds that Wigan defender Paul Scharner, meanwhile, has been quoted in Germany claiming Tottenham are among the clubs interested in his signature. I guess if he becomes famous it might be worth something.
Tottenham outcast Roman Pavlyuchenko in sights of Roma (Daily Mail)
Roma are preparing an £8.7m move for Roman Pavlyuchenko, according to the Mail, who we can only assume have come up with such a specific figure to make us believe the story has any actual basis in fact, when actually it was drawn out of the office transfer predictor hat. This fedora features lots of tiny, scrunched up pieces of paper, each with a name of a club, a fee or a player. Each journalists then takes a turn picking one out of a hat until someone gets a combination more plausible than Burnley to pay £11m for Blackburn. I joke, of course. No it seems that someone at at the Mail towers can read Italian and has managed to happen across a story in newspaper Il Messaggero that claims Roma boss Luciano Spalletti has turned his attention from Brazil striker Fabiano to Russian Roman instead. The "outcasts" name begs for this story to be true, which is probably about as much evidence as went into it's creation in the first place.
Tune in tomorrow for more unmitigated bollocks (from us and the rumour mill)