At least some good has come of this travesty

Last updated : 15 May 2006 By Editor

Walcott and Miss Slade, both 17, met nine months ago at her part time job, where she sells handbags and necklaces in an accessories shop in Southampton.

The first time she appeared on the front pages of the tabloid newspapers was when photographers caught her walking the dog near the family semi-detached home in Bitterne, Southampton.

Melanie joined other footballers' partners at a photocall for Cancer Research UK at White Hart Lane last week, but all requests for interviews have been turned down until after the World Cup. (The Independent on Sunday)

"Theo's Babe" The Sun called her, showing Mel in "sexy hipster jeans" with a butterfly tattoo on her midriff.

Johnson wrote in the The Sun's Sunday paper: ‘Dear Melanie, You'll understand when I say that if you want to fit in you're going to have to rethink that look. That pretty blond hair – it's just not brassy enough. A few hair extensions wouldn't go amiss. You wouldn't want people thinking it's natural. How about some fake nails to go with the fake hair? As for the complexion – well frankly, it's a bit peaches and cream. Get yourself booked in for the full Tango job right now. That long skirt you were pictured in. It has to go. No-one will be able to see your shoes if you're all modest and covered up. They might even say you're wearing last year's Manolas. People can be very cruel. Also, best start practising your expressions in the mirror now. That beaming smile won't cut it in Germany. Love Ulrika.'

Coleen McLoughlin, girlfriend of Wayne Rooney made £5m last year, through product endorsements, magazine shoots including the cover of Vogue, and a £2m book deal. Hopefully, Melanie Slade will stick to being her own person. Even if her and Theo Walcott do not remain an item, she has already become a big enough star in the last seven days through being who she is, without any need to go the same way Miss McLoughlin et al have gone in the past.

Which reminds me. On a recent documentary about Girls Aloud, band member Cheryl Tweedy (Ashley Cole's partner) remarked in passing that the majority of unflattering remarks she gets in public tends to come from Tottenham fans. As if her association with the soon to depart Arsenal player is the only reason for that!